Provocative therapy and EFT.
Part of tell it as it is.
Provocative therapy although not generally described this way is part of good EFT and tell it as it is. Often it will induce a cognitive shift in our clients and will also reframe the situation, which is great as it will get the client out of the state they are in and allow them to see things differently possible for the first time.
It may not fit in with many emotional freedom therapists angle of how we do things, and thats OK. When a client asks me to help them that is what I always attempt to do and usually succeed. Clients need to take active responsibility for their life and become part of it and develop choices.
When someone only responds in one way they have no choice and are powerless, when they can choose to take one of five different actions they have choice. They can choose to do something that gives them power.
Before you attempt this way of working and it will not be suitable for every client or therapist, it is just another tool we can use, you will have had to develop very good rapport with the client and be in a humorous state as they will have to be as well, as some deep personal insight may well be on the way and many people are currently unable to take that. It is part of telling it as it is and common sense.
Often it can lead to great insight in personal relationships, and as we all know our close relationships and that includes our relationship with our selves, are always a problem partly due to misunderstanding about love affection and the nature of relationships.
If we have a close relationship that is not fully pleasurable it is because we have allowed it in the past, and have contributed to training that person to treat us as they do. That is usually a big wake up call for many.
So you have a client in front of you or maybe you are working with yourself. A challenge has reared it's ugly head, they know you can do your stuff and EFT works, you demonstrated that at their consultation and they are in rapport with you, and you both know your outcome. It's our job to set things up so that they will be as successful as they can currently be.
The client lets call him "Bob" is experiencing emotional pain and discomfort about his wife, who he loves deeply, he has focused on a negative unhelpful emotional response that he regally has and up until now has no way of changing his state so that he can feel differently.
He would like her to behave differently and would like her to be different, it's always easer to change yourself by the way and far less time consuming, just look at the planning and resources it takes for Derran Brown to get someone to do something on one of his TV shows, it is worth it for him as he gets very well paid and also gets other benefits.
So we go through the tapping.
"Even though X does this and it hurts and upsets me I love accept and appreciate myself and forgive myself for however I may have contributed to this in the past" This set up statement is something new for them. They may have done something to contribute to the current situation, this opens up possibilities for change, anyway.
As we played and got more specific with Bob the emotional intensity reduced and feelings of deep affection returned and he was a happy man and feeling really good. As we now joked we got into the possible provocative EFT, he was producing statements like, "even though in the past I X'ed", and "even though I behaved that way" and "even though back then I did not know what to do"
I asked him if he had kids, of course I knew, he said. "Yes"
"Your wife was basically not doing what you wanted, was she?"
"What does your three year old often do when he does not get his own way?"
"He throws a tantrum, if he does not get his own way"
"What were you doing when you did not get your own way?"
As he was now very switched on and learning fast he said " I have been getting upset because people were not doing what I wanted, I was throwing a tantrum"
So we jokingly tapped on that.
"Even though I was, or my inner kid was throwing a tantrum, when X was not doing what I wanted, I love accept and appreciate myself and forgive myself for however I may have contributed to this in the past"
What we often uncover with provocative, common sense and reality EFT may upset some, however it can be most enlightening and beneficial.
Bob decided to continue working with himself. A while later he called me and was very impressed at the changes he had made. Many things in life now no longer got him angry, or upset. Hundreds of little annoyances had gone from his life from road rage to problems with his mother in law.
His relationship with his good lady had improved as fewer arguments were happening and he was beginning to use an amazing self hypnosis recording I had recommended "Love Awareness" he was now beginning to solve many of the marriage problems that they were experiencing.
Provocative therapy and EFT is a common sense approach with some clients, you have to make sure that they are mature enough and truly committed to achieving the out come they say they want. It's a great tool and incredibly useful when working with yourself or a trusted friend who is working with you.