EFT and Removing Resentment and Anger
Towards my Dad.
While doing a personal peace procedure many years ago I came across much anger towards my father, let's call him dad that's what he was, my dad.
Many people have deep emotional problems with their parent's much anger, resentment, disappointments and misunderstanding. It is not surprising kids are learning about the world, know nothing and are entirely selfish and uncaring towards adults unless they want something.
As children do not possess the maturity or insight and often misunderstanding occur. I had been using a compelling self-hypnosis recording "Understanding Parents" to help me clear parental, religious, social, educational and self-programming and during this had uncovered much that needed to be sorted out so that I could enjoy my parents and reduce the emotional problems I was creating within my self.
I did not want just to remove it, I needed to understand it. EFT is excellent at taking away emotional pain however in this case I also wanted insight so that I could become a better therapist and get greater insight into my clients and help them faster, it may also help me to be a better parent.
I had felt anger and resentment towards dad because looking back I could not remember him ever coming to a sports day, school play or Christmas concert and dad's should do that to show they care and we are loved.
(What idiot thought that one up.) Down the years this had caused many personal problems between us and I had decided to sort it out,
Dad and I sat down, and I explained what I would like his help and he agreed to help. I described my anger and resentment and all the pain that I had felt down the years, how it had affected my life and that as I wanted us to become closer, would he, please help me.
I needed to know why he did it. Remember what I said earlier about kids being selfish, it looks like my inner kid was doing it again.
Notice how all this was only about me. I never gave a thought as to the problems dad had been through to keep me alive. The things he had sacrificed the dreams he gave up on.
Dad listened, and I could see it upset him to discover this is how I had been feeling, however. I was about to find out that he was a bigger man than I had ever given him credit for.
It turned out that all the times I felt rejected and uncared for he had been working, building a business so that he could provide the food, clothes, toys, holidays and the roof over my head.
As a child with no idea of what adult life is about, I knew nothing of this. If I had as a child, I would not have given a toss anyway. I had been entirely ignorant of this, as all children are.
It was a misunderstanding on my part. When we do a “personal peace procedure” or any kind of change work, we often have much emotional baggage to dump, and that is a good thing.
I apologised to dad for the feelings I had felt towards him, and he just smiled. Mum, who had been listening to all this asked: "if I wanted a cup of tea and did I want to go outside and have a fag with her ?" I did.
Outside we talked and drank our tea, and I asked if she would help me to understand and remove some of the stuff I carried towards her. She asked me if I knew what she was doing the day after I was born?
I didn't and felt that some new learnings were on the way.
"I was mixing muck and labouring for your dad who was building an extension on the house, for you.”
Many learnings were on the way. Thanks, mum.
I am delighted Garry Graig was switched on enough to include in EFT.
"I love, accept and appreciate myself and forgive myself for; however, I contributed to the events".
I had a lot of self-forgiveness to do over the next few months.